help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
