so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
