My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
