I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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