I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
