First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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