her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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