I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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