WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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