If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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