i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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