i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
