fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
