Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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