that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
