i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
