I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
