You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
