My balls are so social today.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
