It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize