OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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