I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
