is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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