I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
