Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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