Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
