whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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