I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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