Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
