If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
