hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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