i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
