so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
