Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
