you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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