You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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