dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
