I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
