that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
