idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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