Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
