grandma shit on top of the toilet
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
