I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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