Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
