You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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