these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't turn off my feet"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize