If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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