It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She needs sedatives and a leash
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
