i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
