No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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