JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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