we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
