Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
