I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
