I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
