I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
