Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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