mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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