I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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